


you fool, it's only moonlight

by havisham



Series: occult bullshit series [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Background Occult Bullshit, Best Friends, Betrayal, Books, Bullying, Ghosts, Haunting, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Semi-Public Sex, Sibling Incest, Summer Vacation, Threesome - M/M/M, Treat Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-07 22:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20469662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havisham/pseuds/havisham
Summary: Sid Mitra, a college student, is invited to spend the summer at his best friend's summer home. He meets his friend's charming older brother and is drawn into a strange world of shadows, secrets and things too dark to face.





	you fool, it's only moonlight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [plastics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/plastics/gifts).

It was half-way to the island when Gage told him — hesitatingly and his face half-shaded by a book — that his parents had actually gone away to Europe that summer and so their summer home would, subsequently, be rather empty that year. 

“I hope you don’t mind, Sid, we have a housekeeper to keep an eye on things, but Mother and Father won’t be there to entertain you. I know it’s a little irregular.”

Sid looked at him askance but he saw that Gage was being sincere, as he always was. Gage was always a little old fashioned like that — like he was from the pages of a novel from yesteryear or something. (Sid was positive he was named after that kid from the Stephen King book, even though they had never discussed it.) 

He looked around, taking in the ferry, the sun, the sparkling sea. It was already miles better than steaming misery of summer in the city. “I don’t really get it. What’s wrong with it?” 

“Well, they won’t be able to be a host to you.” Gage frowned. He was clearly getting worked up. “You know, for your first time there —” 

“What? I don’t mind,” Sid said with a laugh. “Gage, c’mon on. It’s not like I’m your fiancé or something. I’m not expecting a red carpet.” 

“No, of course not.” Gage paused. “I suppose we won’t be entirely without supervision. My older brother, Miles, will also be spending the summer with us.” 

“Oh? I didn’t know you had a brother.”

“He’s not usually here.” Gage frowned. “We’re not close.”

“Sorry. What does he do?” 

“Miles? Oh, I’ll let him describe himself. I can’t do it justice.” 

Sid raised a brow but Gage refused to elaborate further. Finally, Sid shrugged and sighed. “Well! I can tell already that this summer’s going to be an adventure. Thanks for inviting me along.” 

Gage gave him a small smile and went back to his book. 

Sid watched the waves churning in the wake of the ferry. He hoped that he had made the right choice in coming here. 

Sid had met Gage on their first day of college. They had both been wandering around, lost and rather hopeless — one more than the other. Gage didn’t immediately stand out in a gaggle of other students — it wasn’t that he was forgettable-looking, but rather, he seemed to put effort into being forgotten. Sid had pretty much run into him picking up his room assignment for the dorm, and after a quick consultation, found that they would be roommates. 

Gage was tall, with a slightly stooped posture, and fine, fair hair that often fell on his face, and bright, blue eyes that were hidden by his thick glasses. He often looked distracted, like he was five minutes away from the best idea of his life. 

Sid often felt that he was Gage’s opposite in many ways, in both looks and personality. He was dark, short and excitable. Sid thought he was pretty good-looking — it wasn’t like he ever was hurting for dates. 

Gage was undoubtedly handsome, but that fact gave him no advantages at all, or so it seemed to Sid. No one treated him better for it, or warmed up to him because it. If anything, it put a distance between himself and other people. Gage was simply who he was — there was no changing him, or pursuing him. He wouldn’t notice if anyone did. No one bothered Sid with requests to act as a go-between for Gage’s love, after the first few weeks of the semester. It simply wasn’t worth anyone’s time. 

Sid was relieved at that — he didn’t want to interfere in Gage’s personal life, and also it wasn’t any of his business anyway.

Their friendship had started prosaically: they liked living together, and after freshman year, they moved into off-campus housing together. Gage was fastidious in his habits but uncritical about Sid’s. Their friendship was untaxing, but not unrewarding. Now, the summer before they were to graduate, Gage had invited Sid to spend the summer with him. 

Sid usually spent his summers working — his parents had died in a car accident the summer he turned sixteen and with settlement money, insurance, and scholarships, he was just barely making it through his time in college. It meant working full-time when he wasn’t in class. This summer was the first time since his parents had died that Sid had gone on break, and he was determined to enjoy it. 

They reached the island around noon. Swann Island was off the coast of Maine, and had a small population of residents that lived there year-round. Gage explained that his parents had moved there permanently after retirement. Even though their family had summered there for generations, however, they were still seen as outsiders. 

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Sid said, as they waited for their ride to the house. He didn’t really know why it was so important to belong in a place that was so small and parochial, though he knew better than to say so aloud. Belonging mattered, he supposed, even if the place wasn’t worth it at first glance.

Gage gave him a sly look, like he knew he what he meant. 

“Well, they seem to mind, but I don’t,” Gage admitted. “It gets depressing out here, over the winter. Very isolated and austere. Not the _best_ place for one’s mental health.” 

“But beautiful,” Sid said, looking around. “Like living in a postcard.” 

“Well, it's summer,” Gage reminded him with fond smile. “That’s the trap, you see.” 

Their ride had come by this time — an old jalopy driven by a silent old man named Matthew, who greeted Gage with a nod and ignored Sid. They loaded their luggage and drove through the village and woods — it was a short ride, because it was a small island. 

The house was located in the north of the island. Before getting there, Sid realized that he wasn’t really sure what he was getting into. Well, at least he had packed enough underwear for the entire trip. What kind of place would this be? A cottage? A mansion? Something in between? 

It was something in between, it turned out. It was a two-story white house, covered in ivy, on a little hill, as pretty as a picture. It seemed like nothing bad could ever happen here. 

“How old is this place?” Sid asked Gage, who tilted his head thoughtfully. The car rolled to a stop and they got out and stretched and began to unload their luggage from the trunk. 

“The original house was built in the early 18th century, but it burned down in 1919. A lot of what you see here is the reconstruction.” Gage waved a vague hand at the windows. “It’s too bad — the old windows were really interesting. I’ll show you the ones that survived. Like looking under the sea, almost.” 

“Oh? Was it an accident? Or arson?” 

“Hm. Well, that’s the family mystery. No one really knows.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Why would I lie?” Gage said with a slightly goofy smile. He stopped work and leaned against the pouch railing and sighed. “Are you hot?” 

“No,” Sid said scoffingly, leaning next to him. “You could pretty much say anything wild about your family and I’d be forced to believe you?” 

“You’re giving away the game way too quickly, Sid,” Gage said with a laugh. “Hey, are you hungry?” 

At that exact moment, Sid’s stomach growled. Gage paid Matthew for the ride, and Sid went up the porch steps, the old wooden beams creaked under his weight. The air was still around him and hot — as if a heavy hand was pressing down on him. The ocean breeze might as well have been a thousand miles away from here. 

Sid peered into a darkened window, trying to see if it was one of the antique window panes that Gage had been talking about, when he saw a pair of dark eyes narrowed in anger, staring back at him. He felt a stab of pain in his head, unlike anything he’d felt before. Startled, Sid stepped back and almost lost his footing. 

Gage touched his shoulder. “Hey! Are you okay! Do you want to come in?” 

“Uh — yeah. I’m fine.” Sid looked again at the window. There was nothing there, of course. His head felt clear and he didn’t mentioned it to Gage. It had probably been a trick of the light, nothing more. 

The house was empty — the housekeeper, Mrs. Sales, had been called away to the mainland by her daughter going into labor and Miles had left to drop her off to the ferry. The note informing them of this was taped on the fridge door. Gage took it and read it with a small frown. Then he opened the fridge and took out a pitcher of lemonade, offering a glass to Sid, who accepted. 

“This is becoming more and more of a disaster. I’m truly sorry, Sid.” 

“Quit apologizing,” Sid said, sipping lemonade. “Honestly, it’s perfect in a lot of ways. Gage, I’ve always wanted to —” 

The kitchen door opened and a man came in. The resemblance between him and Gage was unmistakable and Sid could only assume that this was the mysterious Miles. 

For a moment, Miles stood still and unsmiling at the door, taking Sid in as completely as Sid did him. Then, he gave him a sudden, radiant smile. 

He was Gage without any boundaries or limitations. He was taller than Gage, blonder, his eyes, more blue. He was simply — more. 

And it was clear he knew exactly how handsome he was. When he spoke, his voice was sonorous yet intimate. “So, this is the famous Sid! I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“I’m afraid I can’t say the same,” Sid replied, offering a hand. “Gage has been keeping quiet about you. Honestly, for a long time, I thought he was an only child like me.” 

“Oh, ouch,” Miles replied, taking Sid’s hand and gripping it tight before letting go. “Gage probably wishes he was an only child. Then he could’ve just spent his entire childhood reading. Isn’t that right, Gage?” 

“I tried my best to do that anyway,” Gage said. “Anyway, Sid, this is my brother, Miles Wexler. Miles, this my best friend, Sid Mitra.” 

There was an awkward pause before Miles offered to make them lunch. Gage immediately accepted and then turned to Sid and asked if he wanted to get settled in before that. Sid, remembering his luggage still sitting on the porch, agreed. 

Sid grabbed his stuff and followed Gage upstairs to the guest room. “It’s next door to my room, and there’s a bathroom attached —” Gage flicked open and closed the lights. A bay window took up most of the south-facing wall. Outside, there was an overgrown trellis of dark purple clematis that almost reached his window. 

Outside, over the trees of the backyard, Sid could see the ocean in the distance. 

“My brother used to sneak in and out of the house using that trellis,” said Gage, sitting on the window seat and patting the place next to him for Sid. “One day, one of the panels broke and he was dangling on the window sill, calling for me for, oh, I don’t know, ages.” 

“What did you do?” 

“Made him promise me fifty dollars before I pulled him up again.” 

“Nice.” 

They sat together for a moment, just enjoying each other’s company. Gage was looking at him, a sly smile on his face. 

Sid asked, musingly, “How much older is Miles than you, Gage?” 

“Five years,” was Gage’s prompt reply. “But I’m stronger than I look. I could pull him up.” 

“Clearly.” They sat in awkward silence for several long moments, looking out the window. Now, Sid had always had a thing for bad decisions. He made them often. He had to live with them. He decided to make one now. 

Giving into a sudden impulse, he leaned forward and kissed Gage. Why? He wasn’t sure. Perhaps he simply didn’t like talking about Miles so much. 

The kiss lasted for a moment before Gage pushed him away, gently. 

“You should take a shower, bud. We’ll have dinner after.” 

“Do I stink?” Sid said, wrinkling his nose. 

“No,” Gage said, getting up. He sounded regretful. “You’re perfect. Really. But you’re tired.”

Sid sagged against his seat. “Yeah. I guess I am.” 

*

The water beat against his skin and Sid closed his eyes for a moment. He felt tired, almost to the bone. The atmosphere here was strange — heavy in ways he couldn’t quite articulate. He didn’t know why he had thought kissing Gage would’ve been a good idea. They had been friends for years — he didn’t want Gage thinking that for all that time he’d merely been waiting for a chance to do something. That would be shitty. 

The water, already lukewarm, suddenly turned cold and Sid yelped and turned off the shower, not caring that there was still soap suds on him. As he walked past the fog-streaked mirror, he thought he saw a twisted reflection look back at him, but when he looked again, it was nothing. Just him. Nothing more, nothing less. 

When he finally got out of the bathroom, he saw that the sun was setting, painting the open windows red-gold. The house was quiet, except for the sounds of life coming from downstairs. 

“You know you could help,” Miles was saying as Sid came into the kitchen. Gage was sitting at the kitchen table, reading on his phone. 

“I do know that,” Gage replied. He looked up to see Sid and smiled. “Hey. I hope you don’t mind too much about the reception up here. It comes and goes. The town council had a chance to improve it a few years ago, but chose not to.” 

“What’s an endangered bird sanctuary or two in the face of progress? You’re killing the planet, Gage.” 

Miles paused and pointed a spatula at Sid. “Sidney, what’s your feelings on breakfast for dinner?” He asked him, indicating a place opposite of Gage that was already set. 

Sid sat down and smiled. “I feel pretty good about it, but I’m afraid my name’s Siddharth, not Sidney.” 

“Ha!” Gage put down his phone and pointed to his brother. “What does making assumptions make you again, Miles?” 

“Shut up,” Miles huffed. “You can make your own scrambled eggs.” 

“That’s not fair, you said you would make it,” Gage replied quickly. 

The two brothers argued all through dinner, and afterwards, Gage asked Sid if he wanted to take a walk down to the beach. 

“I’ll come along too,” Miles said pleasantly. “The trail’s pretty short, but it can be a little tricky if you don’t know where you’re going. Make sure you have a flashlight on you, Gage.” 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Gage said, annoyed. Sid laughed. It amused him to see his friend, usually so cool and collected, act so much like a bratty younger brother. He really wouldn’t have guessed Gage had this side to him if he wasn’t witnessing it himself. Miles caught his amusement and raised a brow. 

“I assume Gage isn’t this cranky at school?” 

“He’s not,” Sid assured him. “Everyone knows he’s a very cool guy.” 

“I guess that’s what siblings are for then,” Miles mused, grabbing a few bottles of beer from the fridge and handing one to Sid and another to Gage. “To pull you back to who you always are and will be.” 

“Ugh. That’s bullshit,” Gage said. He left, slamming the kitchen door behind him. Sid followed him out, and after a moment, Miles came up behind him. The three of them crossed the backyard and walked into a narrow trail into the woods. 

In the daytime, Sid assumed the trail would’ve been pretty. In the fading light, it was merely twisted and dark. He could already hear the sound of the surf, though it was muted from the trees. He followed Gage’s bright figure in front of him, but one moment later, Miles grabbed his shoulder, stopping him. 

“Careful,” he said. “The path drops away sharply here.” 

Sid blinked and saw that it was true. “Thanks.” 

It was high tide when they reached the beach, so the sand was a narrow band between the rocky breakers and the sea. They leaned against some of the bigger rocks and watched the waves coming in. Miles snapped off the beer tops and they drank. There wasn’t much in the way of conversation, even though of course, Sid had a lot of questions for them both -- after all, the mere fact of Miles’ existence meant that there was so much about Gage that Sid had no idea about. 

Gage seemed to be in a brooding mood tonight and answered each of Sid’s questions with a simple yes or no, but as Miles drank, he became more and more talkative. Half-way through their conversation, Sid noticed that Gage was no longer beside him, but Miles was so engaging and charming that he didn’t really mind. 

Sid discovered that Miles usually worked and lived in Seattle, and had recently moved back East to be closer to the family. He was something of a jack of all trades — having gone to school for psychology before dropping out and trying a variety of professions. 

“I’ve been very lucky, people love to give me second chances,” Miles said cheerfully. “I try not to let them regret that, of course.” 

“Well, you’re … really good-looking,” Sid said awkwardly. He was always more blunt when he drank — which wasn’t so far from his sober self as all that. “That probably helps as well.” 

“Really? You think so?” Miles leaned close to him. “I think you’re pretty hot yourself. Gage chose well.” 

“Gage doesn’t like me that way,” Sid said scoffingly. “We’re just friends.” 

Miles laughed. “Oh yeah? That sounds right. My brother’s such a social butterfly, always bringing people over to spend the summers here.” 

“Well, he’s …” 

“Gage’s always been an awkward boy,” Miles said with a sigh. “I’ve done my best for him, but he never learns. It figures that he’d fall for someone as stupid as he is.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Never mind that,” Miles said, and kissed him. The kiss was a shock to the system, leaving Sid reeling. He reached out tentatively and grasped Miles’ shirt collar and pulled him toward him. He deepened the kiss for a moment, and then let Miles go. They stared at each other for a moment and Miles smirked, satisfied.

Gage came shambling up and muttered, “What the fuck? What are you two doing?” 

Miles stood up and stretched. “Who knows. Should we go home?” 

Without waiting for an answer, he turned and walked away. When Sid moved to follow him, Gage stopped him.

“Sid, if I could have a word?”

“Of course. What is it, Gage?”

“I know my brother can be very … beguiling. But the truth is that Miles is a very selfish person. He doesn’t think about others the way you or I do. They’re more tools to be used than anything else — I just don’t want to you to be hurt.”

“You don’t need to warn me,” Sid protested. “I’m not looking for anything special from Miles. Don’t worry.”

Gage looked at him sadly but nodded and said no more. 

*

The next day was devoted to unpacking and exploring the house and the countryside around it. Gage was like a little kid, eager to show Sid all of his secret spots, including a little orchard filled with hard, bitter apples more suited for throwing at each other than for eating -- which was exactly what they did. 

“Aw damn it,” Sid muttered as particularly ripe apple splattered across his shirt.

“Didn’t think this through,” Gage said, trying to help clean it off, but Sid waved him off. 

“I’ll go back to the house and change it.” 

“I’ll go back with you,” offered Gage. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Sid said. “I’ll change and come back.” 

Even though Gage seemed doubtful about it, Sid made his way back to the house easily enough. It was late enough in the morning that the shadows had set in and the buzz of insects were the only thing to break up the deep silence surrounded the house. 

The kitchen door was open. Sid let himself in and took off his shirt. He began to rinse it off in the sink. The warm and sudsy water was comforting for him, for a moment. 

“Good morning, Sid. Have you seen Gage?” It was Miles, who stumbled into the kitchen with a huge yawn. 

“Yeah, he’s in the orchard,” Miles said. He glanced down and saw that the sink was filled with blood and viscera. He jerked backward, dropping his shirt into the sink into the churning, reddish water. 

“Are you done with that? I want to make some coffee.” 

“I --_ look at the sink _\--” 

Miles followed Sid’s stare and raised a brow. “Uh. You know you can put that in the washing machine, right?” 

Sid looked back in the sink. It was rapidly emptying, with soap suds still clinging to the sides. There was no hint of blood anywhere. He took the shirt up gingerly and wrung it dry. 

Sid tried to act normally as possible, even as his heart was pounding in his chest. “I didn’t want the stain to set. Where’s the washing machine?” 

“Basement. But don’t worry about it, I’m going to do a load later today. Give it over.” 

Sid gave him the shirt and hesitated. “Did you see something just now?” 

Miles frowned. “Like what? Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Sid said, lying. He went upstairs and got and new shirt, and headed back out. He found Gage reading, sprawled under the shade of an oak tree. The smile Gage gave him was bright and welcoming. 

It was almost enough for Sid forget the weirdness of what came before. 

Almost. 

*

They were arguing. Sid knew it as soon as he came down the stairs in time for dinner. It wasn’t as if they were yelling, exactly, but the sound was exactly that of angry people trying to keep their voices down. Sid’s parents rarely fought, when he was growing up, but he could recognize that odd tension in the air. The anger just under the skin. 

Even though Sid’s stomach grumbled in hunger, he went out into the porch. He’d never thought about smoking before, but now he kind of wished he had an excuse to just hang out for a while. 

Gage stormed out the door a few moments later. He wiped the corner of his mouth and Sid was startled to see blood there. 

“Gage! Are you okay? What happened?” 

“It’s fine,” Gage said shortly. “Do you want to go out to eat tonight? I have the keys to Miles’ car.” He swung a pair of keys around his fingers and smiled. 

“Fuck that! Should we just go? We don’t have to stay here. We can get a rental or something in the town, or on the mainland. Family’s family, but there’s a point where you have to say enough. Right?” 

“You’re sweet.” Gage stepped closer to him and touched Sid’s chin. “I wish _you_ were my brother.” 

He paused, wrinkling his nose. “Is that weird?” 

“No. Well, a little bit, but I appreciate it.” 

“Oh, thanks.” 

They laughed for a moment before Gage shook his head and sighed. “Don’t worry about it. He’s an asshole, but I can handle it. But hey, tomorrow, I’m going to take you sailing. Is that okay?” 

“Yeah,” Sid said. “I’d like that.” 

*

That night, Sid dreamed that he was in the hallway of the house. All the doors were open and the moonlight flooded in. He reached out to a moonbeam, but it seemed that through the pale light he could see the bones of his hand instead of skin and flesh. 

“Leave here. Right now,” a voice whispered in his ear. Sid woke up with a start and realized that he was standing in the middle of the hallway. 

A door opened and Miles looked out. “Hey, sleepwalker. Do you need something?”

“Fuck,” Sid said aloud. “No, I don’t need anything from you.” 

“Oh, fuck you too, Sid.” Miles slammed his door closed. 

*

The next day, Sid woke up to a strange scratching sound at the door. When he got up and opened it, there was no one on the other side. He went back to bed, but not before trying to check his messages. Gage hadn’t been exaggerating how spotty the service was on the island. The house also had a landline, but it had been years since Sid had actually needed to use one. He really, really wanted to dig up more information about Miles. He had no doubt there was a whole host of skeletons there.

He heard a soft knock at the door. Gage popped his head in. “Good morning, Sid. Do you want to go sailing today?”

“Good morning, Gage. I’ve never been sailing. But yeah, sure.”

“Great! Miles’s going to be out today, so it’s just going to be just you and me.” The smile Gage gave him was classic Gage—shy but wide, with a hint of teeth. Sid had missed it. 

After breakfast, they drove back into town in Miles’ old car — Sid wondered where Miles was if his car was still there — and spent the day taking sailing lessons. 

Sid had never gone sailing before and he was glad to have taken it off his bucket list, but a few hours in, he was pretty sure that he was wasn’t meant for the life of the sea. He looked over the deck to see Gage wearing a similar expression of indifference. 

“This is … fun?” Sid asked tentatively.

“As much as getting a sunburn,” Gage replied.

Sid considered it. Sailing was pretty boring, but the view was stellar — the sun sparkled against the white cape waves of the harbor. He couldn’t pretend to be indifferent to that at least. Gage glanced downward and frowned.

Something clicked in Sid’s mind. Suspiciously, he said, “Are you just pissed you can’t read on deck?”

Gage gave him a sour look. “That’s something Miles would say.”

But he didn’t exactly deny it.

*

When they were back on dry land, they had pizza in town and then started the drive back. The atmosphere between them was lighter than usual. They didn’t talk about what was happening in the house, or about Miles at all. Instead, they talked Sid’s plans for the fall and all the stuff they were missing online. 

“I feel like I’m going crazy, almost,” Sid confessed, when the car suddenly stalled out and stopped. 

Gage swore under his breath. “I thought he fixed this. I should’ve known. Miles wouldn’t have let me use this piece of shit otherwise.”

“Wait, does he have another one?” Sid asked curiously. He couldn’t offer up any automotive advice. He could change a flat tire with assistance from the Internet, but that was it. They tried their phones — of course, there was no service. 

“Yeah,” Gage said, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Let’s try to get this home, at least.”

Try as they might, however, the car wouldn’t start up again. Finally, with the summer night fully on them and the only lights visible the faint ones from the distant houses, Gage gave up. 

“C’mon, it’s a five mile walk back home. We can call the garage tomorrow.” 

“All right,” Sid said, tucking his hands into his pockets. There didn’t seem to be much of a choice in the matter. 

They walked together, arms almost linked up. Sid noticed how bright the stars seemed, the constellations familiar patterns of light against the navy blue sky. In the city, the stars had always been suggestions of light more than anything else. 

As they walked up a gently rolling hill, Sid finally decided to ask a question that had been bothering him for a while now. “Gage, can I ask you a weird question?” 

“Really depends on the type of question,” said Gage neutrally. 

“So. Is your house haunted?” 

“What makes you ask?” 

“I’ve heard and seen some weird things over the last couple of days and I don’t know if it’s me being paranoid or it’s — something else.” 

Almost dreamily, Gage said, “Something else … I think so. It’s an old place, and a lot of things have happened there. The house might not like strangers that much, but I think it likes you— that’s what matters. You shouldn’t be afraid, Sid.” 

There was a strange tremor in Gage’s voice that made something in Sid stand to attention. He looked at his friend sharply and was surprised when Gage pushed him against a tree trunk and kissed him. It was different than the awkward kiss in the guest bedroom. Gage was in his element now, but his element was strange and unpredictable. Sid deepened the kiss, chased after it. He wanted more of Gage, as much of Gage as he could get. 

When they separated, they stared at each other for a moment, eyes wild. 

“Gage,” Sid began to say but Gage shook his head and pressed a hand against Sid’s stomach. Sid sucked in a breath and shut up and watched as Gage sank down to his knees and unzipped Sid’s fly and took out his cock. 

Sid’s brain felt like it was broken. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing — his friend, Gage, who he had known for so long, who he had never thought would ever deign to see him in this way, was sucking his cock with expertise that boarded on dispassion, except when their eyes met. Gage’s eyes burned with an inner fire — not anger, but something akin to it. 

The view of Gage’s mouth around his cock was another thing — a different thing. Sid came in that mouth, red from kissing and sucking. He heard the sound of a car coming up the hill and almost stumbled on Gage. They scrambled up and began to put each other to rights, but Sid couldn’t help but steal one last kiss from Gage. 

They came out of the woods in time to wave down the car. The driver was a familiar one — Miles. He didn’t seem surprised to see them at all, stranded in the middle of nowhere, but then again, why would he be? He unlocked the door without a word. But just as Gage was getting in, Miles pulled away from the curb. 

Gage stumbled and fell with a curse. 

“Hey, stop that,” Sid said, sharply. “Let him get in.” 

“Don’t interfere,” Miles replied, finally stopping. They sat in angry silence until Gage opened the door and shoved himself into the seat next to Sid. Then, Miles turned and smiled broadly. “Did you have fun today, brat?” 

“It was fine,” Gage said grimly. “I enjoyed it. Did you, Sid?” 

“Yeah, I did,” Sid said. He got the feeling that the two brothers were arguing about something that he had no part in. All he knew was that he was on Gage’s side — probably. Miles was hostile when he didn’t need to be. The reasons for it didn’t matter. At least, he didn’t think they did. 

He felt Gage put a hand on his thigh and squeeze. 

Sid caught Miles’ gaze on the rearview mirror, narrowed for a moment. It was a familiar expression, but he couldn’t quite place it. 

They were a quiet party coming back to the house. Sid stumbled out and reached in to help Gage, who didn’t want any help. 

“Do you need anything tonight, Sid?” Gage asked him, like it was a perfectly normal night and he was a perfectly normal host. Sid looked at him stupidly for a moment before he shook his head. 

“I think I’ll take a shower and turn in. Good night, Gage. Miles.” 

“Night-night,” Miles said. He was lurking in the front yard, lighting up a cigarette. “Don’t let the bed-bugs bite.” 

“Sleep well, Sid,” said Gage. “Don’t mind the noises. Old houses like to settle, you know.” 

*

Sid woke up with a start. There was a pounding in his head that was echoed outside in the hall. His throat felt dry, like he had been swallowing sand. Almost without thinking about it, he got up and went outside. The hall was dark and quiet. No moonlight in sight. 

Gage’s bedroom door was slightly open and Sid could hear the radio playing faintly — the sounds of a long-running supernatural call-in show that he knew Gage liked to listen to on the nights he couldn’t sleep. 

Every step he went down seemed to creak as he passed. The big grandfather clock chimed at the three o’clock mark. There was bottled water in the fridge and Sid grabbed some. He drank it as he went upstairs. 

He wanted to talk to Gage and so stopped at the door. He knocked lightly and waited for a reply. The radio played on, but there was no answer. With some trepidation, he opened it. “Gage? Are you awake?” 

Gage’s room was empty. 

The world seemed to tilt on a crooked axis and stain itself blood red. 

Sid staggered back. Everything cleared after a moment, leaving only a stain, a suggestion of a wound in Sid’s vision. Something was truly wrong. Much more wrong than an empty bed would indicate. 

He turned to see that the door was opening and closing in front of him, furiously. When he came to the hall, all of the doors were doing that — all except the door to the master bedroom.

Those were closed.

With a sense of inevitability, Sid walked down the hall — all the doors slamming closed as he passed them — and touched the door knob to the master bedroom. He felt like Bluebeard’s wife, about to open the door to bloody chamber.

After a quick breath, Sid opened the door. The master bedroom was clearly one that had belonged to Gage’s parents. It was dominated by a large four-poster bed and hideous blue-and-white patterned wallpaper. A tv dominated one wall of the room, and big chest of drawers and mirror took up the other. A pair of chintzy lamps — in the shape of a porcelain shepherdess and her swain — gave whatever light the scene could afford.

But Sid paid no attention to the decorations or any of the interior design for the simple reason that both Gage and Miles were flushed and naked on the bed. Miles looked annoyed at the interruption, but the expression on Gage’s face was harder to parse. 

“What are you two doing?” Sid asked, his mouth dry. He had dropped his bottle of water spilling it on his shirt. 

“What does it look like, you little idiot?” Miles said, his face twisted in disgust. Gage sighed and whispered something to him. Miles tried to compose himself, sighing. “Now, are you coming in or or getting out?” 

Sid felt as though someone was grabbing at his arms and trying to push him backwards. _Helpmehelpmehelpme_, they were whispering desperately in his ear. He clutched at his temples. 

How did he make this _stop_?

“Sid.” Gage had snuck up in front of him and touched his face. His hands felt cool and so good against Sid’s hot face. He wrapped his arm around Sid’s neck and whispered, “Don’t listen to them. Listen to me. Do you love me?”

It was so hard to answer this question now, knowing what he knew. Gage pulled away and they looked at each other. 

“Gage, I —”

“You think you can suck one dick and immediately trick a poor son of a bitch into loving you, Gage? It doesn’t work like that. And you’re honestly not that good at it.”

“Maybe not for you, Miles,” Gage shot back. He took Sid by the hand and led him to the bed, closing the door behind him. The ghostly whispering stopped immediately. Sid shook his head, relieved. 

“I guess that’s why you never wanted to date anyone at school,” Sid muttered as he sat on the edge of the bed. Miles laughed as Gage’s face reddened. The brothers sat on either side of Sid, effectively hemming him in. 

“That’s so insulting,” Miles said between snorts of laughter. “I love it because it’s true. Gage is such a loyal dog, isn’t he?”

“You and I have different definitions of loyalty,” Gage said coldly. 

“Not at all,” was Miles’ instant reply. “I would do anything for you. Why am I here, in this ridiculous situation, if not for you, Gage? You’ve spent years talking about this boy Sid and how you _want_ him and _can’t_ have him and isn’t that _sad_, so sad for you, so sad that he would _never_ know what you’re really like and here is he, sitting here and he hasn’t run away yet.”

They both looked at Sid, who looked back at them. “Maybe I haven’t emphasized this enough,” Sid said, “but right now, whenever I go out there is a goddamn ghost that starts fucking with my head.” 

“I still say it’s because he loves you,” Miles said. 

“The house is haunted,” Gage said slowly. “It’s our fault. I didn’t realize you would be so sensitive to it. Most people wouldn’t notice.” 

“When you say it’s your fault, what do you mean by that?” 

“So, do you want to sleep with us or not?” Miles demanded. “It’s a once in a lifetime offer, at least for me. I don’t care what Gage does. He’s a soft touch for hopeless cases — very prone to guilt.” 

“Did you guys kill someone?” 

“Well, only our parents,” Gage said awkwardly. “It was a long time ago, Sid. You don’t need to worry about it. They were truly terrible people. They raised Miles to be as you see him, you know. And honestly, I’m not doing great either.” 

Sid caught Miles’ eye, and they shared a look of sudden and complete understanding with each other. Such understanding could only be temporary, of course, but it was strong while it lasted. 

After a moment, Sid said, “You know what you two are like?”

“What is it?”

“Am I going to like this?” Miles demanded. 

“Dorian Gray and his portrait, or Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” Sid declared. “That’s the two of you right there.” 

“Wow. Well. You’re not an English major right? No? That’s good, otherwise that would be really embarrassing for you,” Miles said. “But I get it. You’re horny, that’s what’s happening.” 

“What? No,” Sid said scoffingly. “I’m not —” 

His voice faded away as Gage kissed him, gently, as if to chase the thought of murder or inappropriate literary comparisions from his mind. It almost worked. Sid wanted it to work, he realized half way through. He liked kissing Gage, touching Gage, being with Gage. When Miles began to touch him, Sid did not flinch — that was also a part of being with Gage. 

“Is any of this real?” Sid asked aloud. Miles squeezed at his throat.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, sounding oddly tender. “If you treat it like a dream, no one will mind.”

Was it Miles who really said that? Or was it Gage?

“You shouldn’t have drunk that water, Sid,” Gage murmured regretfully. “I should’ve warned you but —”

“Let him make his own mistakes,” Miles said. “But first, strip him.”

Sid jolted out of complacency. “Wait,” he said sharply. “I didn’t agree to this.”

“You didn’t agree?” Gage said. “But I want you, Sid.”

“But he _wants_ you, Sid,” Miles echoed, his voice faintly mocking.

“This would be more convincing if you two hadn’t _just_ told me that you were murderers.”

“Really? You don’t find that attractive about us?” Miles asked. He leaned in and kissed Gage, his lips lingering on his brother’s. For a moment, it seemed as if they were alone in the room and had no need for anyone else. 

More than ever, Sid felt like an interloper, witnessing a scene that he had no right to see. And yet Gage didn’t ask him to turn aside, and Miles didn’t throw him out of the room. It seemed like they were determined to instead to draw him to the vortex of their own desires, as if appealing to his own base instincts couldn’t quite be relied on.

But it was working. Sid felt his body grow hot, watching them, watching Gage being pressed against the bed, his fair hair covering parts of his face, his breathing coming faster as his arousal mounted. 

Miles was bringing him off — Miles was touching him — Miles had done enough. Sid pushed him aside for a moment and kissed Gage and came away from a bittersweet taste on his tongue.

“You’ve decided then, Sid?” Miles said drily.

Gage only beckoned him closer. “You should fuck me. Together.”

Miles slung an arm across Sid’s shoulder. “Well, sharing is caring, isn’t it?”

“Don’t touch me,” Sid said, shrugging off Miles’ arm. 

“You’ll change your mind,” Miles said confidently. “They always do.” 

Then, he switched his attention fully over to Gage. “Are you all right?” He reached out and caressed the side of his brother’s face. 

“Yes,” Gage murmured. “But impatient.” 

“Hungry,” Miles said, wryly, sticking his forefinger into Gage’s mouth. Gage gave it a petulant suck and then kissed the knuckle when Miles pulled it away. “There’s condoms and lube in the nightstand,” he told Sid. He frowned. “Why are you hesitating?” 

Sid scrambled to get ready. He was almost impossibly hard — he grabbed what he needed and crawled to Gage’s side. Gage grabbed his hand and kissed it, then kissed him. “Do you love me?” He asked again, his color high. Miles already starting to fuck him now and his body was shaking at each thrust. 

Sid kissed Gage desperately, knowing that it might be the last time he would be able to do this — it might be only time he would be allowed. But before he could dissolve into a haze of romantic lust, Gage leaned over and pinched his nipple. 

“Hey!”

“Don’t get distracted, Sid.” 

Sid smiled.

“You’re right,” he said.

He wouldn’t let Miles do all the work himself after that. It was a temporary truce —they they worked together to break Gage down as much as they could, to leave him a wreck. Sid had wanted to do this for so long, perhaps from the first day he had met Gage, but he had never thought it would be possible. Gage’s mouth pressed against his crotch, his throat flexing against the skin of his cock. Impossible and yet, here it was. Sid’s mouth was dry. He licked at his lips, fruitlessly, and Miles laughed at him and kissed him.

Sid didn’t push him away. They shared the same passion, perhaps. The same obsession, perhaps. As if he knew what Sid was thinking, Miles rolled his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m doing it for Gage. He wanted you and I give him what he wants.”

“As if _you’re_ so selfless,” Sid said, a sneer tugging at the corner of his mouth. Jealousy, ugly and hot, clawed at his chest. 

“I sacrificed my life for him,” Miles said, tenderly pushing the hair from Gage’s face. “You wouldn’t understand it and I don’t expect you to. Anyway, what are you doing? Gage is waiting.” 

It was true, Gage was waiting. And he had been waiting for so long. 

Much too long.

*

It was a dream. Sid knew it, even before he opened his eyes. The air had a thick quality to it, filled with dust and the smoke of a dozen burning candles all around him. There was a large, ornate mirror in front of him, but Sid couldn’t see his own reflection. Instead, he saw Gage. He was wearing old fashioned clothes and they looked very natural on him. His hair was parted severely on the side. His glasses were missing. He turned back to his books for a moment before he took out a silver knife and began to carefully cut into his arm. 

“Gage, I can’t believe you’re a fucking witch. On top of everything else,” Sid muttered. Of course, Gage didn’t hear him, though he smiled a little as the blood dripped onto the pages. 

“That’s disgusting, you know,” Sid said. “Really unsanitary.” 

“Hush,” Gage muttered. “Just wait.” 

The door to his room sudden banged open and Miles strode in. Whatever smug or mean comment he was about to make quickly flew out of his brain, Sid saw it go. He swallowed hard. “Are we really doing this?” 

“Get inside the circle or burn. Your choice,” Gage said. “You too, Sid. Time to choose. It’ll only be the three of us from now on.” 

“You can see me?” Sid said. 

“The three of us?” Miles said, stepping over the candles and getting inside the circle. The candles trembled for a moment and then fell over, the flames spreading out across the floor. The mirror cracked and shattered in the intense heat. Before it did so, Sid thought he saw his own reflection, behind Gage and Miles, but he wasn’t sure. 

Soon, there was nothing but flames. 

The screams of the people below were just distant echoes. Sid didn’t know them, but Miles covered Gage’s ears, until his brother pushed his hands away. 

“Now we have forever,” Gage said. He turned to look at them both. “Isn’t it worth it?” 

There was no answer to that. 

*

Sid woke up with a start. He had fallen asleep at an awkward angle, crammed in between Gage and the edge of the bed. Miles was sprawled on the other side, his leg thrown over Gage’s thighs. But when he tried to get up and grab his clothes, his hands went through them. 

“What the fuck,” he muttered. He reached out and slapped Gage’s cheek. To his relief, his hand made contact with firm warm flesh. Gage’s eyes flew open and he gave Sid a wide toothy grin. 

“I’m glad the ceremony work with you, Sid. I’m sorry for the incorporality, but technically, you weren’t really there, having not being born at the time. But still. It worked! You’re immortal! I always knew you were the right one.” 

“That can’t possibly be true,” Sid said reaching out and grabbing Gage’s face. He could do it. Gage kissed his hand, looking at him for a moment. “You don’t like it?” 

Sid felt sick. “I’m the ghost.” 

“You’re the ghost. You’ve always been here,” Gage said. “Even though you came here only a few days ago.” 

“This is awful,” Sid said. “Gage, I can’t believe you did this…” 

“Well,” Miles drawled. “Isn’t it great that you’re a sad orphan whose best friend is this maniac over here, and whose other friends, well, they’ll be too busy to miss you. Gage picked well, didn’t he?”

Sid glared at Miles, to avoid looking at Gage. “You really are viciously mean, aren’t you? None of that was an act.” 

Miles rolled his eyes. “Of course I am. Where outside a romance novel has a guy like me ever redeemed themselves?”

Gage yawned. “I’m hungry. Can we eat something?”

Sid reached out and shook his shoulders—or tried to. “Gage, listen to me. I want my fucking body back. I can’t be in your house for all of time. That is impossible.”

“Yeah. He would really be underfoot,” Miles said. “Besides you’re the one who fucked up with this. Fix it.”

“Fine.” Gage sat up. “I maintain that it’s not my fault that neither of you ever checked to see what exactly I was always reading, but fine. I’ll try to fix the spell. But fuck this ingratitude.” He got up from the bed and stretched. He didn’t bother to dress before he left. 

Sid watched him go, feeling a little defeated. It was Miles who touched Sid’s shoulder and said, quietly, “Well, welcome home, Sid.” 

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from [Townes Van Zandt’s “Lungs”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Rdm8LItAHs).
> 
> Thank you to my beta, Morbane. All remaining mistakes are mine, all mine.


End file.
